How do I find the courage to leave a toxic job?

PSA (that everyone already knows: Toxic jobs are everywhere.
Sometimes they look like obvious dysfunction—bullying, screaming bosses, unrealistic workloads.
Sometimes they’re sneakier: disrespect, being sidelined, leadership that doesn’t protect its people.

And just because a company is on a “Best Places to Work” list doesn’t mean it’s best for you.

Your team, your boss, your role—that’s what matters. A toxic job is one that makes you doubt your value, your abilities, or your sanity.

So how do you find the courage to leave?

Here’s what I coach people through:

1. Name it.

Toxicity looks different for everyone.
Pay attention to how you feel at work—mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Are you anxious every Sunday night? Snapping at people you love? Getting sick more often?
If the job is harming you (or your loved ones), call it what it is: the wrong job for you.

2. Believe you deserve better.

This part is hard, especially if your confidence has already taken hits.
But you are worthy of a work environment that respects you.
They don't have to worship you or pamper you but they MUST respect you. That’s not too much to ask.

3. Decide to act.

Don’t stay stuck in “this sucks” land forever.
You don’t have to sprint out tomorrow, but you do have to decide to make a move.
That could mean starting a search, updating your resume, or even just talking to a friend about your next step.

4. If you decide to stay—for now—own it.

Sometimes you truly can’t leave right now. Health, caregiving, finances, or industry conditions might make it make sense to wait.
That’s valid. But name it:
“I’m choosing to stay for now, even though this is hard.”
Owning that decision can take the emotional pressure off, because you’ve taken back control.

Conclusion

Toxic work erodes confidence. Naming it, deciding you deserve better, and taking action (even small action) is how you start to get it back.

If you’re wrestling with this question yourself, I’ve got a free resource to help:
👉 Is It Time to Walk Away? 

It's short - just 18 mins, like a TED talk, and packed with clarity.