Diana Alt [00:00:00]:
Okay.

Diana Alt [00:00:05]:
Hey there, Diana. Alt here.

Diana Alt [00:00:08]:
And you're listening to Work Should Feel Good. The show where your career growth meets your real life. Today we're doing a Thanksgiving episode. My very first one. This is November 2025. If you're listening at a later random point in time. I started the podcast in February, so this is my first opportunity to send do Thanksgiving publicly in this format. We're not doing.

Diana Alt [00:00:30]:
We're not doing like a 10 things I'm thankful for kind of episode. Nothing wrong with those kinds of episodes. That's just not what I've been reflecting on in 2025. What I have been reflecting on is that when your life blows up personally and professionally, you kind of get really clear about who you are and what you need and who you can count on. So this year, my learnings were largely centered around events and things that I went through that I didn't get to choose. And I don't know why I never made that connection before, because I think that most of the defining things in our life actually come from things that we did not have control over, because in life, we really don't have control over nearly as much as we think we do. But in my case, I had a couple of serious things come up that I didn't get to choose, would never have chosen in a million years, but that really have informed my thinking and provided clarity about myself and about some things I need to do moving forward.

Diana Alt [00:01:26]:
So for me, what's the hard stuff.

Diana Alt [00:01:28]:
That I didn't get to choose? The first thing is a freaking brain tumor. His name was Pete. He was a pituitary tumor.

Diana Alt [00:01:35]:
I had him for a really long.

Diana Auld [00:01:36]:
Time, and he's gone. So this is the year that I had surgery. I want you to first know I'm okay. I often get asked that if I ever talk about this, but he's gone.

Diana Alt [00:01:47]:
But my year of 2025 was defined largely by realizing that I was going.

Diana Alt [00:01:53]:
To have to have surgery, having surgery.

Diana Alt [00:01:55]:
Recovering from surgery, both personally, medically, professionally, et cetera. So probably my trigger moment in this.

Diana Auld [00:02:05]:
Was whenever I was sitting in a neurosurgeon's office. It was my second consult with a neurosurgeon.

Diana Alt [00:02:10]:
My sister Jen was there kind of.

Diana Auld [00:02:13]:
As a support person, and the surgeon told me two key things. Number one, that the risk of me having a bad outcome from surgery was pretty low. Like 90 plus percent of people have good outcomes from the surgery I was going to have, which is called transphenoidal surgery. It goes up through my nose. No cutting into the Skull like if you're going to have a brain surgery, this is the way to do it kind of surgery. But he said that there was 90 plus percent chance of good outcomes and 100% chance that I was going to lose my vision if I didn't do surgery and then I would end up having other problems eventually. So that was a really telling moment and scary at first, but then weirdly clarifying because it be I realized I didn't really have a decision to make. I wanted to see because everything that I enjoy doing involves being able to see.

Diana Auld [00:03:08]:
Then as soon as I recognized, okay, I'm doing this, he said I was.

Diana Alt [00:03:13]:
Going to have to take eight full.

Diana Auld [00:03:14]:
Weeks off of work after surgery.

Diana Alt [00:03:17]:
And that was, I don't know if I would say it was unexpected, but it brought up a trifecta of oh thoughts in my mind. And the three oh shits were first oh shit, what am I going to do with myself? I had read enough about the surgery.

Diana Auld [00:03:34]:
Before I made the decision to have it.

Diana Alt [00:03:36]:
To understand that it's actually one of.

Diana Auld [00:03:38]:
Those surgeries where you don't feel that bad. It's not abdominal surgery.

Diana Alt [00:03:41]:
It's basically something that is where you're going to be tired for a couple.

Diana Auld [00:03:47]:
Of weeks, you're going to have some pain, but you're actually going to feel okay after a couple of weeks.

Diana Alt [00:03:51]:
In fact, some people actually go back to work pretty quickly. But my doctor was telling me no, you need to be off work for.

Diana Auld [00:03:57]:
Eight solid weeks so that you can heal.

Diana Alt [00:04:00]:
And he said it to the degree that if I wouldn't agree to do.

Diana Auld [00:04:02]:
It, he wouldn't do surgery. That's how important it was to him.

Diana Alt [00:04:06]:
The second oh was what does this mean for my business and my finances? So eight weeks off of work, that's hard. And that's hard when you're a full time employee with a W2 and some disability insurance and FMLA. It's damn hard whenever you're a solopreneur that makes their money off of one to one services. So I had some oh, what does this mean? Not just there was a financial aspect to it because I have, you know, some financial Runway, but I don't want to burn it all in eight weeks. I, I also want to make sure that I'm not tanking my business so much that I can't build it back up and build it even bigger and stronger than it was before surgery. And then my third oh shit was who can I actually count on if things go sideways? And that's a tough one. For me because I have a tendency towards hyper independence. That's not uncommon with gifted kids.

Diana Alt [00:04:56]:
It's not uncommon with people who have experienced traumas like being widowed. And it also kind of goes with some of my personality styles and things like that. Like I'm in a neogram 8. We don't like to be controlled. We like to help others, but we don't like to be controlled. We can be kind of private and it can be a stretch for us to be vulnerable in front of others. So that was my third.

Diana Auld [00:05:22]:
Oh.

Diana Alt [00:05:24]:
And when I was processing all of this, both in the surgeon's office and in the immediate aftermath where I had to start planning, I realized that I was not going to be able to white knuckle my way through this one for any of these things. I wasn't going to be able to white knuckle support if things go sideways. I wasn't going to be able to white knuckle doing this in a way that wouldn't tank my business. And I wasn't going to be able to white knuckle. What do I do with myself? I needed help for this. And my second, my second triggering moment was actually my surgeon canceling surgery two days before my original date because his father died. So I had a lot going on with this because I had the ocean of having to have surgery and planning for it and then the oh shit of oh, now I got to wait another month because I was able to actually fairly quickly start making plans and start looping in people that I cared about that would support me. I was able to withstand that delay.

Diana Auld [00:06:22]:
In surgery quite a bit better.

Diana Alt [00:06:24]:
So, so who showed up I think is one of the most important things to talk about here. And what did I learn about myself? The first was my sister in law, Jen, who I call my sister. She's my late husband Andy's sister. And she's the top reason why I sometimes say that the only perk of being widowed is that you get to choose which in laws you keep. She's definitely the in one of the.

Diana Auld [00:06:47]:
In laws that I kept out of a small handful. Jen was immediately my anchor in this. She had no hesitation saying that she would help me in any way that she could. She provided medical support by going to appointments. She provided logistical support because her brain just works that way and emotional support all throughout this whole period. And I had an extended period between when I found out I was having surgery and when I actually had it and then on through the rest of recovering and the rest of the year. So huge, huge Role.

Diana Alt [00:07:17]:
Thank you, John.

Diana Auld [00:07:18]:
I can never do enough for you. One of the things that taught me though is that there's.

Diana Alt [00:07:24]:
Because Jen is a sister in law.

Diana Auld [00:07:27]:
And because her brother is no longer alive, I'm no longer married to him.

Diana Alt [00:07:32]:
There have been times when there's been.

Diana Auld [00:07:34]:
A does she really want to be my friend? Does she really consider me family? Like that kind of crap would come.

Diana Alt [00:07:42]:
Up in my head. And if the work that she did over months and months and months to support me in this doesn't show that we're family, I don't know what possibly could. The second person that showed up and what it clarified is my neighbor Lacey. My neighbor Lacey and I are like.

Diana Auld [00:07:59]:
We'Re friendly, we're friends.

Diana Alt [00:08:01]:
We're not like the kind of friends that go on vacations together and see each other like three times a week or anything like that. But I have a high regard for Lacey and for her entire family. I met her during the pandemic because we were all like outside taking walks when there was nothing else to do. And she's just a great human. And she turned into an unexpected lifeline. About 10 days before I had surgery when I got severe back pain for. I don't know why. I'm 50.

Diana Alt [00:08:30]:
I can exist and end up with.

Diana Auld [00:08:32]:
Back or neck pain for the day.

Diana Alt [00:08:34]:
But I was able to call on her when I was having basically 10 out of 10 pain in my back less than a week before surgery to take me to urgent care, help get me some meds, you know, get drugs from CVS and actually bring me some chicken parmesan for dinner that night because she knew I was in no business to cook. And that kind of taught me that, like people that I don't expect and that have nothing to do with me professionally, they aren't necessarily close family are willing to help in a pinch when needed.

Diana Auld [00:09:03]:
There was also a set of periphery people. They're kind of the surprise support system. Some of the. Some of them people that I didn't even know still cared and supported me. And these are people that did everything from send me doordash gift cards for recovery to just send thinking about you notes and letters to also actively saying, when are you going back to work? Because you're one of the best coaches I know. You help me so much or I know that you're good at what you do and I want you to be able to help build your business back.

Diana Alt [00:09:34]:
And there were a lot of those people.

Diana Auld [00:09:36]:
A lot of those people. It warms my heart to this day. And that taught me that my impact was maybe more than I thought.

Diana Alt [00:09:44]:
My impact is sometimes, especially when you're.

Diana Auld [00:09:46]:
Dealing with health stuff that can be isolating, it feels like you become invisible to a certain degree. And that taught me that I was maybe not quite as invisible as I felt some days. Then the last set of people that really showed up and what it clarified for me is my VA team, especially my podcast team. I work with a company called Smart Virtual Staff. It's led by Louise Sandoval and they're in the Philippines. And I've worked with them for five years.

Diana Alt [00:10:12]:
And I really don't always do a.

Diana Auld [00:10:15]:
Great job of delegating things. I'm good at teaching others how to delegate, especially if they have more infrastructure in place. But a solopreneur delegating can be really.

Diana Alt [00:10:24]:
Hard, especially when a lot of the.

Diana Auld [00:10:26]:
Tasks are so small that it feels like it'll take longer to ask you to do the task than to do the task Myself.

Diana Alt [00:10:32]:
They have been champs. The reason that there is a podcast.

Diana Auld [00:10:35]:
Is because of this team, because I.

Diana Alt [00:10:37]:
Didn'T know anything about podcasting other than having been on some, and they really helped provide the professional support, not to just limp along, but to actually progress.

Diana Auld [00:10:47]:
The podcast and progress other areas of.

Diana Alt [00:10:49]:
The business throughout this period. And I now trust myself to delegate more and I trust them to do.

Diana Auld [00:10:58]:
More, which is one of the pieces.

Diana Alt [00:11:00]:
Of fuel I think I need in.

Diana Auld [00:11:01]:
My business in order for it to grow.

Diana Alt [00:11:03]:
Another interesting I didn't choose this story happened just a few weeks ago when I attended an event that I go to every year. It's called the Thing. It's hosted by Terry Weaver, who.

Diana Auld [00:11:16]:
I've known since 2019. I've gone to his event several times and spoken at it. He's been a podcast guest and he's a close friend. He falls in that friend that is family kind of category. I went to Orlando to basically attend this event, do all the things, and to make a long story short, three hours before the main event was supposed to start on a Friday, Terry got carted off in an ambulance. It turned out he had a severe infection. As of this recording, a week later, he's still in the hospital but expecting to get out soon. So it sounds like Terry is going to be fine, but it was very scary in the moment because it was my friend that was going to the hospital.

Diana Auld [00:11:58]:
A lot of the people at this event, which is like a few dozen people, it's not a giant event, they were scared for their friend too. But also there were people in that Audience that had paid with time and money and their talents in order to be there. And so a small group of us stepped forward and said, hey, we're going to run this thing. So in a three hour period, we re planned the day, we figured out the tech, we contacted all the speakers, at least the ones for that day, and we made the event go. And we found out a little bit later that day that Terry was definitely going to be out all weekend because again, he had a severe infection and was in the icu. Coming back to the event was not on the cards.

Diana Alt [00:12:38]:
The small group of people that we.

Diana Auld [00:12:40]:
Pulled together showed what magic can happen when a mission is the focus instead of egos. And it was one of the best leadership experiences of my life. Like, I don't feel like repeating it anytime soon, especially if it means that one of my friends has to go to the hospital. But I learned about myself, who can tend towards overthinking as the sash that people watching the YouTube video would see. You know, you can read that in my background.

Diana Alt [00:13:10]:
I realized that I can, when push.

Diana Auld [00:13:12]:
Come to shove, make some decisions, especially when I'm surrounded by people that are helping make them and I know that they've got my back. So that was kind of what happened there.

Diana Alt [00:13:23]:
The wildest part of the story is that 24 hours, or a little over 24 hours after Terry went to the hospital, Mike, one of the people that was on our small group that was making the event go, he went to the hospital. He actually had a mild heart attack right after lunch. The day that he spoke, just a couple hours after he got off the stage, he ended up at the hospital with a heart attack. He is also fine. He got a stent put in. Everything is good with him. But we just kept rolling with making the event move forward, but not in a way that discredited the people that were undergoing a health crisis. It was pretty magical.

Diana Alt [00:14:02]:
So, yeah, that's the main thing I learned from that. And it was a wonderful weekend. And I think I stepped into leading.

Diana Auld [00:14:09]:
In a way that maybe I hadn't.

Diana Alt [00:14:11]:
Done before or I hadn't done in a way that the people that were in that room had seen. So, yeah, when life blows up, the truth gets clear. And that is ask for help. Sometimes you'll be surprised by who helps. You can't white knuckle it through life and there are people that you can count on. Now let's talk about the choices I did get to make. One of the things I started feeling an itch for in 2025 especially after I found out I was going to have the surgery, was just having more experiences. I have a tendency towards workaholism, which probably comes from having two parents that were both raised by farmers and farm work is never ending.

Diana Alt [00:14:55]:
And they also both taught at the community college level. So the semester will end and your life will be really crazy, especially at the end of the semester. So I was kind of raised and wired towards working a lot and I found work that I really enjoy, so I do that. But I also have had a sense for a number of years that I was not having enough fun and play in my life. I wasn't necessarily picking experiences and it became easier to choose to do things that I wanted to do just because I wanted to do them because of all this other stuff that had happened this year. So some of the changes that I or changes choices that I made this year in that spirit were number one, I went and saw John Batiste, who is a brilliant musician that I just love. He used to lead Stephen Colbert's band, but he's just a brilliant musician. I've always really enjoyed him.

Diana Alt [00:15:51]:
And he came to Kansas City about halfway through that eight week recovery and I chose to go see him at the last minute. I didn't think I was going to be able to go, but I bought myself a ticket and I took myself on three hours notice on the last day. And I am really glad that I did. Another thing that I did is I chose to go hang out for a week with my good friend Liz Wilcox. L. Liz is one of the people that I admire the most in this world. And she just has a brilliant business, a brilliant family, and a brilliant, brilliant way of loving herself. And something about a friend like that that loves themself and loves you makes you love yourself more.

Diana Alt [00:16:34]:
And so I got to go and take a week to spend time with Liz. She likes to chill out, so it worked out great.

Diana Auld [00:16:42]:
And then I chose home most of the time and stabilization and quiet and rest and trash TV so that I could in my own way try to honor what my doctor asked me to do.

Diana Alt [00:16:56]:
And then the big one, this is.

Diana Auld [00:16:58]:
The one that I'm the most proud of, is that I took myself to New York the weekend before the thing conference I just told you about to see Hamilton. Hamilton is my favorite show.

Diana Alt [00:17:09]:
A lot of the things that are going on in the country right now.

Diana Auld [00:17:13]:
Make me feel some kind of way because I feel like we're sometimes feel.

Diana Alt [00:17:18]:
Like we're breaking at the seams a.

Diana Auld [00:17:20]:
Little bit about what America is about. And when I watch Hamilton, I think about my values and what my opinion, my opinions and stances are in the country. And it was just what I needed to be inspired and to kind of process some emotions. But the best part of it is the way I chose myself for that.

Diana Alt [00:17:40]:
So Aaron Burr is the kind of.

Diana Auld [00:17:45]:
The narrator character in the show Hamilton. He was played by a guy in the original Broadway cast. He was played by a guy named.

Diana Alt [00:17:52]:
Leslie Odom Jr. And I have watched.

Diana Auld [00:17:54]:
The original Broadway cast through the Disney plus pro shot of this movie a billion times since it came out in 2020.

Diana Alt [00:18:03]:
Arguably, the only reason I keep a.

Diana Auld [00:18:04]:
Disney plus subscription is so I have constant access to watch Hamilton whenever I want.

Diana Alt [00:18:09]:
But he announced in the spring that.

Diana Auld [00:18:11]:
He was going to do a 12 week run reprising his role as Aaron Burr.

Diana Alt [00:18:16]:
And I knew that I wanted to see that. And I thought that there was no.

Diana Auld [00:18:20]:
Possible way I was going to be able to do it.

Diana Alt [00:18:23]:
At first I thought, oh, that's just not for me. Like, I'm not the kind of person that gets on a plane and goes.

Diana Auld [00:18:28]:
To New York just to see a show.

Diana Alt [00:18:31]:
But as things got closer around about in, just in June, in September, I was thinking about it and realized my major barrier was travel. I didn't want to travel too many times and wear myself out and impede my recovery and spend money and like all that stuff. But I had a light bulb one day that for the thing trip. I almost always go to Florida the weekend before because the conference activities for me start on Tuesday night or Wednesday and I want to get a little bit of work done. So it's just worked out logistically. And I said, diana, just go to New York the weekend before and then fly to Florida and do what you normally do. So I decided to do that. I bought one ticket for myself to the show.

Diana Alt [00:19:13]:
I spent an unconscionable amount of money. And then a few minutes later, after I bought the ticket, my best friend texted me with a video of Miguel Cervantes, who played Hamilton for years after Lin Manuel Miranda left the show, singing Hamilton songs in the outfield of Yankee Stadium with the Savannah Bananas. She's like, I just thought you'd like this. I know you like Hamilton and I know you like the Savannah Bananas. So I made the split second decision to invite my friend to come with me and to pay for her ticket and everything so that we could have a weekend together. Just been my best friend since I was 7.

Diana Auld [00:19:49]:
I feel like, you know, she's earned.

Diana Alt [00:19:51]:
It at this point. Putting up with me for 40 something years. And then we layered in seeing her daughter and her daughter's girlfriend who lives in Philly. And it was just a great experience. I wouldn't trade it for anything. And I think we need to do.

Diana Auld [00:20:03]:
Something like that much more often.

Diana Alt [00:20:05]:
But the lesson in this was that I started choosing myself because I deserve to choose myself. I learned that I needed to do it through, you know, curve balls that life threw at me, but I didn't have to work to earn that. In fact, I wasn't working. I wasn't bringing in money. I was dipping into savings in order to go have that experience. And if you're a theater kid, which I didn't really do theater when I was in high school, I did choir. But if you're into theater and you're into beautiful performances and art, there's nothing quite like listening to Aaron to Leslie Odom Jr. Sing Dear Theodosia, four rows away from you.

Diana Alt [00:20:47]:
So no one can ever take that experience from me. And I learned to choose myself for it. So this year it helped me integrate a lot of pieces of myself that I kind of ignored for a long time or that I had looked at as something to do later, something I had to earn, etc. So, yeah, that was kind of the theme of my year. I'm not grateful for the chaos that happened. Not at all. I would not go back and choose to have a brain tumor, but I'm grateful for the clarity that came out of it. And the thing I'm most grateful for is after going through all this nonsense, I actually like myself more.

Diana Alt [00:21:30]:
I like myself a lot more than I did, you know, five years ago, a year ago. And I hope that continues. I hope that today I like myself the least that I ever like myself in the rest of my life. I hope I like myself more every.

Diana Auld [00:21:47]:
Day for the rest of my life.

Diana Alt [00:21:49]:
So next year, I'm stepping into 2026 with a better understanding of what I need, a better understanding of who my people are and are not and how I want my life to feel. And it's a messy journey going through all of this, and it's largely an internal journey, so you may see and notice some things, if you follow me. You may not. But I know that I'm going to.

Diana Auld [00:22:10]:
Be checking for that.

Diana Alt [00:22:11]:
So my invitation to you is to reflect today on who has showed up for you. What clarity does the chaos that you have experienced in your life, whether it was 2025 or some time ago, what clarity did that give you and what choices Are you finally ready to make for yourself? So that's it. I wish all of you a happy Thanksgiving, and I'll see you next time on work. Should feel good.